Me: (stares at stalk and back at customer) Um...you might as well get the whole bunch cause celery's sold by bunch, not weight so you'll still end up paying the same price.
Customer is annoyed: "Really? I don't want it then."
Me: (leans down to place stalk under register to dispose of later and tries not to laugh my damn ass off)
Repeat a few days later with Kale. (dies)

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