"Rough" Bottomed Girls?

Tonight, I bring you the tale of Toilet Paper Lady. This woman came in wanting to return, you guessed it, toilet paper. I think it was Royale, with the adorable fluffy kittens on the package? Now that's important because the reason she was returning it was because, in her words, the toilet paper was 'too soft'. I'll give ya'll a moment to let that sink in....Silly me, I would think you'd prefer soft toilet paper when dealing with the 'misters' and 'misses'. Lol! I guess we should make a note to start stocking sandpaper. Crazy ass people!

Would she have preferred this instead?